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Israel & Palestine: The Sandpit Chronicles

Two toddlers, let’s call them Israel and Palestine, were sitting in a sandpit.
Palestine had a spade; Israel wanted the spade so it hit Palestine and took it.
Palestine began to cry. An adult came running and demanded to know what happened.
‘Israel took my spade!’ Palestine cried.
Israel began to cry. ‘It was my old spade; the Nazis took my other one! Palestine is just another Nazi; you want to make sure I don’t have a spade too. I’m going to push you out of the sandpit altogether!’ Israel hit Palestine with the spade, drawing blood.
Palestine recoiled to the edge of the sandpit.
It cried harder. ‘You said you weren’t going to share, and then hit me when I wouldn’t give it to you to keep. You’re the Nazi, I’m going to push you out of the sandpit!’
Palestine threw some sand at Israel, which made Israel cry.
‘I don’t share my spade with sand-throwers!’ Israel bellowed, before hitting Palestine with the spade again and again and again and drawing more and more blood.
Palestine began to bleed profusely.
As Israel continued to beat the bleeding Palestine with the spade, Palestine threw handfuls of sand at Israel, who cried whenever it thought the adult, who had gone to call the parents, was watching.
The parents showed up armed and angry, and had a shootout in the playground. By the time hometime rolled around everyone was dead, and no one got to use the spade.
The end.
(Alternative ending: Israel decided to a. stop crying over having sand thrown at it, b. stop making Palestine bleed and, last but not least, c. share the goddamn spade.)
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